The Hall of Technical Documentation Weirdness offers truly brilliant examples of how NOT to write user instructions.

“Sanyan Wield Ways and Means” is either the victim of machine translation or contains some obscure coded text:

1. With appertain rotor of screw setting pre ceiling on the under standing that screw no wield. May wield two-faced, pressboard securing, wield pre to begin with wiping ceiling of bilge dasto.
2. Thread of length need half again as many as tad.
3. Open toy of batteries shuck. Verification batteries, whereafter stow down to a certainty need locklust lest take place accident.

I couldn’t agree more. Sounds like a good way of going about it.

There’s also a very frightening set of instructions on how to vacuum a cat that has fleas.